I wish I was a glowing, pregnant goddess who handled my growing belly with grace…but my pregnancy journey has been more like a sweaty troll who’s dealing with an ever-expanding belly wondering when it’s going to be OVER!
Morning sickness almost killed me. I am not a wimp and I have a high threshold for pain, and yet morning sickness had me in tears cursing my husband and his sperm.
Pregnancy has also given me a nice, dark mask on my face around my temples and cheeks. It’s called pregnancy melasma and even my expensive concealer will not cover it! It’s not like a cool, superhero mask…but one that I will have to bleach off my face.
My belly is big…my chest is in another stratosphere…and my feet are FAT! Seriously, some of my shoes don’t fit…my husband is blissfully unaware because everyday he puts his shoes on and goes to work while I work to squeeze my sweaty, doughy feet into heels.
Lastly, dealing with people’s strange questions and comments is something men don’t understand. And if men were asked these questions, they would just punch the person in the face.
Here’s a tip…don’t ask a pregnant woman if she’s having twins…you might as well say, “You look super fat!”
Cheers everybody! Can you tell I need a drink?!
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