Family

How A Baby Makes Marriage Hard And When We Had Our Breakthrough

Our baby rocks. Henry is the happiest and sweetest little boy, and we love him to the moon and back!

But having a baby is hard…much harder than we thought. So hard that we asked each other, “Should we have even had a baby?!”

When we first brought Henry home from the hospital, we were running on adrenaline and bliss.

Those first couple weeks are a blur and we were just so happy to have a healthy baby.

But then the sleepless nights and stress took their toll.

If I didn’t like how Mark held the baby or fed the baby or changed the baby, I would snap at him and he would snap back. Then we’d go to bed angry and the cycle would repeat itself.

When Henry turned 6 months old, we finally had a come-to-Jesus talk. Mark and I decided that we would not say unkind things to each other no matter how annoyed we were…we would KEEP OUR MOUTHS SHUT.

We also decided not to examine our marriage or our lives right now because no good comes when you do introspection on NO SLEEP.

I’m happy to say that after a few weeks of KEEPING OUR MOUTHS SHUT, our marriage felt easier and lighter and nicer!

We now find ourselves in a really wonderful place…and we know how LUCKY we are to have each other and Hank the Tank!

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Moving In

DIY Doubles As Marriage Counseling

I keep looking around our house thinking, “I can’t believe it…I can’t believe we did this.”

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Our house was so dirty and yucky and crappy for so long…

And now, it’s not. 🙂

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This DIY home renovation project took a big leap of faith. But I always knew, deep down, that Mark and I could do it.

Same thing goes for this blog, I didn’t know if anyone would read it.

But here we are rocking and rolling…every week I meet someone who reads the blog and wants to say hello!

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As for my marriage, I would say PATIENCE and ENCOURAGEMENT is something Mark and I have gotten wayyyyy better at.

It really makes a world of difference when your partner builds you up and lifts you up. It also helps when you dress alike.

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I was trying to get Mark to show everyone his new summer loafers. He is going to be so mad that I posted this. 🙂

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Heavy lifting

I walked out to save our marriage

I totally forgot to tell you about one very important moment Mark and I had last week.

Normally, my husband is very calm and mild mannered…I attribute some of this to his Canadian roots because those Canadians are the NICEST people on the planet. 🙂

Mark rarely gets upset or angry. Because he’s so good at renovating and remodeling, we haven’t really had any situations where he was frustrated because he didn’t know what to do.

And then came last Wednesday.

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We were trying to build the door frames for our bedroom, bathroom and laundry room. Before we put those beautiful refinished doors in place, we had to install the frames.

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When we lived in Asheville, NC (the most beautiful place!) Mark bought a pair of french doors and built a frame for them. He remembers that the frame came together easily…he put the doors in and everything worked.

Not this time around.

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For the life of him, Mark could not remember how to build a door frame. He was so mad at himself he was throwing tools, kicking things and using some pretty fancy language. 🙂

You know when your spouse is really frustrated and you don’t say anything at all because you don’t want to aggravate the situation???

While Mark had a tantrum, I just sat on the floor and looked at Instagram. He finally said…”I know you’re being quiet because I’m being crazy, but your silence is making it worse. Can you just please leave?”

“Gladly,” I said. I took my iPad and walked down to Crazy Mocha and had a delicious espresso.

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I came back to the house about an hour later and the door frame was up and perfect.

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And Mark was back to his normal self. 🙂

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Demolition, Design phase, Family, Heavy lifting

Marriage isn’t what I thought it was going to be

Today is my 2-year wedding anniversary which means I have accumulated LOTS of wisdom that I’m now allowed to disperse to others. 🙂

I had no idea when I walked down the aisle that I was not marrying Mark, but a superhuman who is the epitome of Bob Vila, Ty Pennington and Scott McGillivray all in one person.

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When we tied the knot, I figured we’d have a nice house in the suburbs with a garage and maybe a pool. Now, I’ve got dirty, dusty rowhouse in the city that needs new plumbing, a new roof and a TOTAL REHAB of the inside…and I couldn’t LOVE it more.

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As a new wife, I thought I might have to help out cutting the grass and changing the lightbulbs. I never imagined my wifely duties would include hanging drywall, chipping off plaster and mastering a table saw.

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When we got married, I knew that Mark was cool and funny and liked to fix stuff.

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Never, IN MY WILDEST DREAMS, did I know that my husband was capable of building an entire house from the studs up and that he would work tirelessly and never complain. At our wedding, Mark said that he was the lucky one…but now we know that I am. 🙂

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Demolition, Family, Heavy lifting

I think the term “better half” specifically applies to my marriage.

A lot of weekends, I get to emcee different events. Last Saturday, my sister and I both got to emcee an awesome memorial run/walk for Trooper Kenton Iwaniec

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That’s us with Kenton’s mom, the most WONDERFUL lady. These events can last 6-7 hours, so Mark is often working at the house by himself.

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One day in a 6-hour span, he built 3 temporary walls on his own…

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For the basement wall, he used the old wood that was part of the original staircase in the house…

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These walls will act as structural support when we cut open the ceiling (again) and add 2 support beams to a current ceiling joist.

I’m pretty sure the phrase “my better half” SPECIFICALLY applies to my marriage…meaning yours truly is the “lesser half.” What a bummer.

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